October: Happy Anti-Bully Month, Wayne County Style

It’s enough to make you want to scream sometimes

Why let the kids have all the fun?  Adults can be bullies too, you know.  Just add a little edjumication (it doesn’t take much) to someone from Wayne County, and you have all the makings for a real bully of a time!

Here’s a gallery of my favorite Wayne County bullies, who like to hang out in the Good Ole Boys Club in a certain lakeside Wayne County community, where I’ve run into an overabundance of Stupid, even according to Wayne County standards.

My legs are like tree trunks, and even though I am an anonymous copyright-free image, I can do what I please, including bullying you.  So bully for me!

This one, she’s from downstate, you know, like from Newark or somewhere like that, but her problem is she just can’t spell.  She writes her name all right, but whenever she tries to write “Prosecutor” after it, it keeps coming out “Persecutor.”  And she’s easily confused by the numbers “10” and “11.”  But don’t try and help her! or ask her “what book?” That will just pi$$ her off, and then she will bully you and say, “I’m reading it from the book, okay, so don’t try and show me something you got off the Internet.”  Bully for her!

If I weren't a copyright-free image, I would be a big, fat bully who threatens to drag old ladies to jail -- in handcuffs! -- for "littering"...bully for me!

If I weren’t an anonymous copyright-free image, I would be a big, fat bully who threatens to drag old ladies to jail — in handcuffs! — for “littering”…so, bully for me!

. . .And you’d best not complain about her, either, even if she lies to the court, because if you do, you will litter-ally be bullied by one of these:

. . . but you can avoid both of these bullies if you have about a million of these. . .

Brave little SassyCat, appearing incognito! She's not afraid of those bullies! She knows how to take care of them. . . bully for her!

Brave little SassyCat, refusing to appear incognito! She’s not afraid of those bullies! She knows how to take care of them. . . bully for her!

. . . which are, of course seat belt exemptions, written in full conformity with with VTL 1229c and any and all subsections thereof. . .

. . .which will exempt you from wearing a seat belt while operating a motor vehicle within the confines of New York, even within and around beautiful downtown O*****o, which will keep you from being further harassed by one of these:

"If I weren't a copyright-free image, I might be The Honorable Dumb-Ass who was absent the day they taught seat belt law in Judge School. So, bully for me!"

“Hey, quit picking on me!  Can I help it if I was absent the 1.6 days they taught seat belt law in Judge School?   Besides, I’m a judge , which means I have information to which YOU are not privy…so, bully for me!”

Thanks, SassyCat! for keeping these in a safe place so I can grab one whenever I lose the one of the 12 or so that are in my car!

mmmmm. . . donuts. . . .

mmmmm. . . donuts. . . .

What fun it is to live in Wayne County!  where you can’t find an IQ of 76, even if you add up all the IQs referenced on this page (including the cat’s). . . well, you might get a number that high if you put about 12 people in a room (make sure they aren’t related to each other, though) and then add ’em up . . . Bully for me!!!

(These are Google copyright-free images of no one in particular,  and I really don’t know of any person or event that they might resemble, do you?   Except for SassyCat.   She’s real.  She even gave me permission to use her likeness on this page, so that one doesn’t count.  She’s a good kitty, that SassyCat!)

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Lyons, NY: The Schizophrenic City, Part 1, by The Evil Mr. Edward Hyde

Once home to the Peppermint King, now home to the county welfare agency, the county jail, and a few other undesirable attractions. Nothing really to remind us of its French namesake except two small converging streams.

Lyons, France and Lyons, Wayne County — whooda thunk it.  Yet somebody a long, long time ago thunk it, indeed, observing the waters of the Garnagua Creek and Canandaigua Outlet and thinking fondly of the Rhone where it meets the Saone. . . what drugs was he on?????

“One 21-ounce bottle will correctly flavor a ton of candy, said the Peppermint King.


Must have been all that peppermint. . . way too early for the meth and other synthetics that the kids on the old Courthouse steps trade their food stamps for.

Don’t be fooled by all that “Hall of Justice” stuff, although I’d rather take my chances there than in a town “justice court.”  In fact, if you ever are a victim of a certain Wayne County Justice Court, you will likely end up here, unless you prefer living with higher car insurance premiums (a seat belt conviction will do that, even if it is false).

Actually, you gotta feel kinda sorry for Lyons.  Being the county seat and all, it attracts a lot of the wrong kind of people (lawyers), whose cars take up all the parking around town so you can’t even see the good things, like the green or any of the old buildings.  But at least it keeps them out of our towns. . .

all over the streets

blocking the green

…stupid lawyers and their stupid cars, they’re everywhere!  You can’t walk three feet without tripping over one of ’em or the other.

The original Erie Canal,  as it once ran behind the Hotchkiss Peppermint building.  It was  filled in long ago. Photo courtesy of H20 Mike, blogger, “On the Road with the WCH, accessed 10-17-12.

Even though Lyons is older than the Erie Canal, it provided the town much opportunity for growth.

Used in the summer for pleasure craft, and used by the town during various tourist-enticing events. Otherwise, the barge canal remains pretty much untouched.

The barge canal, which replaced the old Erie, runs behind the village parallel with Route 31.

Some of the old warehouses still line Canal Street:

Some have been turned into nice apartments. 

some not so much

Lyons has certainly seen better days than these:   and these —

guest room?

ewwww

But once you are out of the village (and who can’t wait for that to happen!!) you will see a different side of Lyons. . .

Nah, I think the only solution for Lyons Village is the front end of a bulldozer. . .

Part 2, coming up. . .

Wayne County and that oxymoron called “The Justice Court”

Ontario, Wayne County, NY:  Needs work, eh? After waiting about 150 years, the Town could not attract a paying tenant or even a squatter, so rather than do anything to save this classic Greek Revival, they let it rot and then tore it down in 2010.  Good-bye, history, who needs you anyway.  Author's Collection

Needs a little work, eh?  So does the Justice Court in this town.   Author’s Collection

"Hey!  I know a court that wants your money, so here's a ticket -- it'll get you in for free, but you will have to pay to get out." A Message from Wayne County's Very Own Officer Friendly, a/k/a Deputy Sheriff T**** P****tt.  You can read more about it over on the Justice Court blog.

“Hey! I know a court that wants your money, so here’s a ticket — it’ll get you in for free, but you will have to pay to get out.” A Message from Wayne County’s Very Own Officer Friendly, a/k/a Deputy Sheriff T**** P****tt. You can read more about it over on the Justice Court blog.

\\ DUH//  Ever wonder why being called a “315-er” is so insulting?  Well, we do have our share of trailer trash (some of them don’t even live in trailers), and we are rather isolated amidst all the apples and grapes and potatoes and things without even a mall to call our own, but I think what caps the phrase is the corruption that results when a few of the natives get themselves some edjumication and then are turned loose  in the Justice Courts….

Wanna read more?  This posting has been moved to its own blog, “Justice Courts, Comments from a New York Taxpayer,” which you can find here:

http://glimpsesofthegood.wordpress.com/