Lyons, NY: The Schizophrenic City, Part 1, by The Evil Mr. Edward Hyde

Once home to the Peppermint King, now home to the county welfare agency, the county jail, and a few other undesirable attractions. Nothing really to remind us of its French namesake except two small converging streams.

Lyons, France and Lyons, Wayne County — whooda thunk it.  Yet somebody a long, long time ago thunk it, indeed, observing the waters of the Garnagua Creek and Canandaigua Outlet and thinking fondly of the Rhone where it meets the Saone. . . what drugs was he on?????

“One 21-ounce bottle will correctly flavor a ton of candy, said the Peppermint King.


Must have been all that peppermint. . . way too early for the meth and other synthetics that the kids on the old Courthouse steps trade their food stamps for.

Don’t be fooled by all that “Hall of Justice” stuff, although I’d rather take my chances there than in a town “justice court.”  In fact, if you ever are a victim of a certain Wayne County Justice Court, you will likely end up here, unless you prefer living with higher car insurance premiums (a seat belt conviction will do that, even if it is false).

Actually, you gotta feel kinda sorry for Lyons.  Being the county seat and all, it attracts a lot of the wrong kind of people (lawyers), whose cars take up all the parking around town so you can’t even see the good things, like the green or any of the old buildings.  But at least it keeps them out of our towns. . .

all over the streets

blocking the green

…stupid lawyers and their stupid cars, they’re everywhere!  You can’t walk three feet without tripping over one of ’em or the other.

The original Erie Canal,  as it once ran behind the Hotchkiss Peppermint building.  It was  filled in long ago. Photo courtesy of H20 Mike, blogger, “On the Road with the WCH, accessed 10-17-12.

Even though Lyons is older than the Erie Canal, it provided the town much opportunity for growth.

Used in the summer for pleasure craft, and used by the town during various tourist-enticing events. Otherwise, the barge canal remains pretty much untouched.

The barge canal, which replaced the old Erie, runs behind the village parallel with Route 31.

Some of the old warehouses still line Canal Street:

Some have been turned into nice apartments. 

some not so much

Lyons has certainly seen better days than these:   and these —

guest room?

ewwww

But once you are out of the village (and who can’t wait for that to happen!!) you will see a different side of Lyons. . .

Nah, I think the only solution for Lyons Village is the front end of a bulldozer. . .

Part 2, coming up. . .

About: Palmyra

Ewww, but you don’t necessarily have to live in a trailer to be trailer trash (see pretty red law office, right)

Founded in 1790, Palmyra is quite proud of its 4-corner churches and some kind of spire with a flag on top.  It also has some pretty nasty trailers and at least one nasty lawyer.

Lawyers. . . they're like nuclear fission, they can be used for good or evil.  (And you don't want to get any on you, either!)

Lawyers. . . they’re like nuclear fission, they can be used for good or evil. (And you don’t want to get any on you, either!) Courtesy Google Images, Accessed 10-12-12

Go, Palmyra!  Show us how ‘duh’ is really done!

Not sure what it’s for but it’s right there smack in the middle of town. With a flag on top.  Until maybe that storm comes up and blows it all down. . .Courtesy Google Images, Accessed 10-12-12