What’s Wrong with This Picture? (Nothing, if you’re from Wayne County)

But if you aren’t, there is something terribly wrong with this drive-up mailbox…Image

…which requires you drive in the wrong lane and almost hit my car in order to use it:Image

Thanks, Lyons Post Office! and thanks to the unidentified county employee who unknowingly demonstrated just how stupid this is…

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Whooo Let the Buffalo Out (of Newark)?

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“Hey, give US a football!  We’ll show you how REAL buffalo do it!” said Bill, while taking a rest break from training at the camp in beautiful, not-so-downtown Wayne County, New York.

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yippie-yi-oh!

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woof- woof, woof-woof-woof!

No pictures, please, getting ready for the big game!

No pictures, please, getting ready for the big game!

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“When the party was nice, the party was pumpin’. . . “

What'd you call me?  A flea-infested what?  You take that back, fool!

What’d you call me? A flea-infested what? You take that back, fool!

Lake Effect Snow (or, Why They Built Rt 104)

It’s the line that separates wimpy snow from real he-man snow, the kind that requires hip boots and 4-wheel drive and gives us the privilege of scoffing at anyone who runs out to buy milk, bread, and toilet paper when the weather people are forecasting up to 3 inches of snow. . .ya big wusses. . . WE know what REAL snow is!!!

Lake Effect Snow (or, Why They Built Rt 104)

. . . although I am ready for some lake effect SUN!!!!!!

Seen in the Macedon, Wayne County Wal-Mart (where else would you find something like this?)

Kentucky, maybe?

Most New Year’s Resolutions involve some sort of self improvement–weight loss, maybe, or watching less TV and reading more, or eating healthier, or perhaps giving up cigarettes. . . but only in Wayne County would a New Year’s Resolution be “I am going to improve my personal hygiene.” Yet, here it is, folks, the proof:  “We’re making resolutions easier to keep” by selling personal care products for less than a dollar each!

Only in Wayne County would a New Year's Resolution involve halitosis and body odor. . .

Only in Wayne County would a New Year’s Resolution involve halitosis, body odor, and 94 cents. . .

bathe daily. .  .AND use deodorant!

No more weekly baths–it’s every day, baby, whether we need it or not. . .AND we’ll use deodorant, too!

No more toothless jokes: We DO SO have our own teeth (except for a few of the trailer trash living down by the canal).

. . . the toothpaste bin is almost empty!

. . . hey, the toothpaste bin is almost empty!

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Unless, of course, I have it all wrong, and Wayne County’ers are going to keep that Saturday Night bath habit, thank you, and instead resolve to buy more Colgate-Palmolive products in 2013. . . you know, doing our part to support the economy and all that. . .

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Wayne County Warning: Wear Your Seat Belt. . . or else. . . !!

A Public Service Message brought to you by:

◊          ◊        ◊      Your Local Justice Court because we care…!*

*…but not about you, only about your cash

I toldja, *never* drive out in Wayne County without your seat belt!! They don't care if you're the president!   Now look what you've done, -- a fine,  and every time they see the motorcade out on  104 they stop  and fine us again." "Oh, quit whining, look at these nice clothes we get for free. *Someone's* gotta pay for 'em..."  "Clothes won't matter when they put us on community service.  I hear that's a real bitch."  "Nah, it's no bitch, you must be confusing that with the prosecutor."   "Yeah, well, try getting 50 Secret Service guys out  of Big Lots and back into the cars. . .that's even worse than community service and all that  manure we'll have to shovel on these farms out here... "  "That fascination with Big Lots is pretty telling, that's why they call 'em 315'ers...hey! Chinese donuts!  Canna Coke?"

“I toldja, *never* drive out in Wayne County without your seat belt!! Now look what you’ve done, — a fine, and every time they see the motorcade out on 104 they stop and fine us again, even though we are all choking on those damn seatbelts.”

“Oh, quit whining, look at these nice clothes we get for free. *Someone’s* gotta pay for ’em..and the food ain’t bad, ‘cept I’ve never had so many apples in my entire life….”

“Clothes won’t matter when they put us on community service, and neither will food. I hear that community service out here is a real bitch.”

“Nah, you must be confusing that with the prosecutor.”

“Yeah, well, YOU try getting 50 Secret Service guys out of Big Lots and back into cars and see how YOU feel . .that’s even worse than community service…with our luck, we’ll be shoveling manure on some apple farm while all the rednecks hanging out at Palmer Hall laugh at us…stupid rednecks!!”

Well, of course they are, that’s why they call ’em 315’ers…hey, look! Chinese donuts! Canna Coke?”

I’m [name removed by blog owner], and I approve of this message.