It’s Sooooooooooo Wayne County. . .

Except it’s not, it’s Monroe County, the Land of Intelligence and Affluence, home of the UofR, RIT, Pittsford, and Maggie Brooks. . .you’d think people this smart wouldn’t need a sign telling them not to hit the light poles:

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I guess your right, they don’t need a sign.  They need two of ’em:

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Query:  If you are as dumb as a rock, will you still be able to read warning signs?

About: Williamson

While the lake people pay high taxes to see sunsets like this, it doesn't stop the rest of us from driving a mile or two to see them for free.

While the lake people pay high taxes to see sunsets like this, it doesn’t stop the rest of us from driving a mile or two to see them for free.

Williamson. . . .like Lyons and Sodus, a little schizophrenic. Here the residents of the lakeside section make it a point to say they live in PULTENEYVILLE (much like residents of Sodus who make sure they tell you they live in Sodus POINT) because no one wants to be associated with the poor folks who live in the town center or the outlying farm areas. Well, the joke’s on them because they pay a whole bunch of  taxes for the privilege of being surrounded by poor folks! Ha!

Royal EmpireSo, Pulteneyville may have the lake, but Williamson has a really cute little downtown:

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Korvan’s Korner–best computer advice EVER!    Apple Crate–cards, crafts, gifts, and so much more!

Ahhhh, Williamson, the only town that allows State Troopers to steal road signs–and then decorate their yards with them.  Now, that’s class:

Amusing, no?  Our tax dollars at work!

Amusing? NOT!!    It’s our tax dollars at work!

The trash can gives it a nice touch, too.

The trash can gives it a nice touch, though.

has a real soda fountain counter, with red-topped stools and everything!

has a real 1950s soda fountain counter, with red-topped stools and everything!

Speaking of cops, when your town is so small it can’t attract a Dunkin Donuts, what’s a cop to do???  Where WILL he get his donuts?? Why, at the Original Candy Kitchen, in beautiful downtown Williamson, of course!

The Department of Public Works, like most everyone here in town, approaches life with a sense of humor. . .

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GEDSC DIGITAL CAMERA. . .while taking the words “lake effect snow” seriously. . .

somewhere in there is a mailbox.  I know it, because I put it there.

. . . as they should!  Somewhere in there is a mailbox. I know it, because I put it there last summer.  And maybe a car.  I think there’s a car under there, too.

But it’s apples, not snow, that distinguishes Williamson:

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a nice-size harvest. . .

...that requires many hands to gather

…that requires many hands to gather

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I love you, baby, even if Her Blonde Honor believes you were lawfully and thus deservedly tortured. . . I guess we can’t really expect much else from someone who practices law without a license. . .

Of course, every town in Wayne County has its share of problems (remember, it’s the Land of Stupid for a reason.  There are stupid people in high places. . .like Her Blonde Honor sitting on the Town Court bench.

(The other judge in this court is a little smarter, though, than Her Blonde Honor (and her colleague in a neighboring town). . . at least he understands seat belt law. . .and doesn’t allow his DA to lie about evidence, either. . . )

Royal Empire

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A dance studio that is kept very busy…lodged in what could be a beautiful old building…the row of purple glass blocks is amethyst glass, which began as clear glass that darkened with years of  exposure to light.

(the broken window is now fixed–now all it needs is a bit more paint)

. . . and there are stupid people in low places. . . I think everybody cheered when the sheriffs finally shut down the coke factory – it’s about time. . . maybe all the druggies were parking down at the Candy Kitchen, thinking they wouldn’t get caught if they parked a few blocks away. . . but that left nowhere for the cops to park their cruisers, so they had to go up a few blocks and park on the street. . . maybe that’s when when they *finally* noticed what was going on. . . not like we haven’t been telling them about it every chance we got, begging, pleading, and wheedling them to DO something about it. . .

Good riddance!!!

Good-bye and don’t come back!!!

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We like the barbershop, but not the coke-packin’ tenants!

Not many of these lake-washed cobblestone buildings left. . . What stories this building could tell!

Not many of these lake-washed cobblestone buildings left. . . What stories this old building could tell!

So, maybe now we can get on to bigger and better things, like saving this old Doctor’s office. . .

improving our schools. . .

Voted the Best High School in Wayne County

Voted the Best High School in Wayne County

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Every working person deserves a decent living wage. . .

. . .improving our workplaces. . .

.. .as we continue to celebrate Williamson each May:

Go, girls, go!

Go, girls, go!

Royal Empire

And don’t forget the post-parade party!

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Ontario, NY: No One Really Wants To Shop Here But They Will Now!

“Stupid” infests the commercial district

 

Now that Rite-Aid has moved to a bigger and better location, here is 96,900 square feet of empty, plus parking for over 600 cars. . . but who wants to park at an empty shopping center?  (Answer:   One, maybe one-and-a-half cars?  Is this a trick question?).

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Now all the trailer people won’t have to pester anyone to drive them  all the way to Greece for their super-discounts

But not for long!  There was one business here that was doing so well that it attracted a brand-new Big Lots! store right where the old Ames used to be. . . hey, that’s got to mean 15 or 20 low-paying, part-time jobs for some lucky Ontarians!

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Chinese donuts. . . who knew?

Chinese donuts. . . who knew?

So, congratulations to the real-’nuff  Chinese restaurant tucked into the corner nearby, where they buy Pillsbury dinner rolls up at Tops, deep fry them, and sell them as “Chinese Donuts” (with a free can of Coke if you buy enough of ’em).

Hey, send the clerk out on a donut run, that’s a (court) order!

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Donuts are a great favorite with the Good Ole Boys hangin’ around Palmer Hall —

Why, I do think I once overheard Deputy Sheriff  Br***s say one day, as  he looked up the words “investigation” and “intimidation” in the dictionary, “Mmm-mmm-mmm, don’t I just love me some donuts, how I wish I had me some raht now…”  Maybe if he did he might not be harassing this nice old lady with pepper spray…

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“I’m not intimidating, I’m investigating! I think this scumbag is a litter-bug, and she deserves to be pepper-sprayed if not handcuffed and dragged to jail!”

Do you know the Six Wayne County Food Groups?  Here, I’ll teach them to you, repeat after me:  Deep-fried anything, salt, sugar, bacon grease, butter, and Spam (but they save that for Sundays).

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THIS JUST IN!   We’ve been told that a third store  may be coming soon…Save-A-Lot, which is something like an Aldi’s but with a lot less class and a lot less selection.  Actually, seeing as how they closed 60 of ’em in back in the fall of 2012,  it may be just another rumor…

You really don't have to get all dressed up to shop here.

You really don’t have to get all dressed up to shop here.

…but for what it’s worth you heard it first on this blog, the Wonders of Wayne County, Land of Stupid.  And if it turns out to be not true, well, then, the folks at the McDonald’s across the way have been hittin’ the Special Sauce a bit too much. . .

Mmmm. . . donuts. . . Canna Coke?

Mmmm. . . donuts. . . Canna Coke?

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All pictures courtesy of Google Images, so they really don’t represent any real person or event, but they are quite amusing nonetheless.·

Lyons, NY: The Schizophrenic City, Part 1, by The Evil Mr. Edward Hyde

Once home to the Peppermint King, now home to the county welfare agency, the county jail, and a few other undesirable attractions. Nothing really to remind us of its French namesake except two small converging streams.

Lyons, France and Lyons, Wayne County — whooda thunk it.  Yet somebody a long, long time ago thunk it, indeed, observing the waters of the Garnagua Creek and Canandaigua Outlet and thinking fondly of the Rhone where it meets the Saone. . . what drugs was he on?????

“One 21-ounce bottle will correctly flavor a ton of candy, said the Peppermint King.


Must have been all that peppermint. . . way too early for the meth and other synthetics that the kids on the old Courthouse steps trade their food stamps for.

Don’t be fooled by all that “Hall of Justice” stuff, although I’d rather take my chances there than in a town “justice court.”  In fact, if you ever are a victim of a certain Wayne County Justice Court, you will likely end up here, unless you prefer living with higher car insurance premiums (a seat belt conviction will do that, even if it is false).

Actually, you gotta feel kinda sorry for Lyons.  Being the county seat and all, it attracts a lot of the wrong kind of people (lawyers), whose cars take up all the parking around town so you can’t even see the good things, like the green or any of the old buildings.  But at least it keeps them out of our towns. . .

all over the streets

blocking the green

…stupid lawyers and their stupid cars, they’re everywhere!  You can’t walk three feet without tripping over one of ’em or the other.

The original Erie Canal,  as it once ran behind the Hotchkiss Peppermint building.  It was  filled in long ago. Photo courtesy of H20 Mike, blogger, “On the Road with the WCH, accessed 10-17-12.

Even though Lyons is older than the Erie Canal, it provided the town much opportunity for growth.

Used in the summer for pleasure craft, and used by the town during various tourist-enticing events. Otherwise, the barge canal remains pretty much untouched.

The barge canal, which replaced the old Erie, runs behind the village parallel with Route 31.

Some of the old warehouses still line Canal Street:

Some have been turned into nice apartments. 

some not so much

Lyons has certainly seen better days than these:   and these —

guest room?

ewwww

But once you are out of the village (and who can’t wait for that to happen!!) you will see a different side of Lyons. . .

Nah, I think the only solution for Lyons Village is the front end of a bulldozer. . .

Part 2, coming up. . .

Lyons, NY: The Schizophrenic City, Part 2, by The Respectable Henry Jekyll, MD. With apologies to Robert Louis Stevenson.

about a mile outside Lyons Village–and it’s not raining, either.

Stuck in the middle of the Village of Lyons?  Boy, do I feel sorry for you!  But I have some advice — head north, either on Geneva Road or Route 14, and keep heading north til you clear the courthouse and the sides of the streets are no longer clogged with lawyer’s cars, and the 30 MPH speed limit signs change to 55, and you will be much safer and much happier in these next few miles of countryside that separate the Village of Lyons from Sodus, Lake Ontario, and the rest of us.

Beautiful to behold, but can be a traffic danger. . . watch the side of the road for horse droppings (no kidding), it’s a sure sign that you will soon encounter a slow-moving buggy.

I don’t think Lyons even knows (or cares) that there it has a “good part of town,” but maybe that’s what keeps it so good. . . it’s fairly unsettled, just dotted with a few dairy farms, which have attracted quite a few Amish farmers.

Barns *should* be red. Just like this.

Here is where you can get fresh produce grown without pesticides, and if you are respectful, you will get some great conversation as well.  A peaceful place to explore the countryside and remember how things used to be before plug-ins and apps.

The “rolling hills” that run parallel to each other are actually glacial formations called drumlins.  No fun in the villages, where they are just “hills” and get all cut up because they are inconvenient and in the way, but out in the country one can appreciate them more for the ancient land form that they are.

Good eggs at this place.  They aren’t Amish, so if you run out on a Sunday, you can get a dozen or so to get you by.

cut limestone quoins and lintels

Most people think the old cobblestone houses had something to do with the Erie Canal, but in truth they were made from stone gathered further north in Wayne County (the canal is about 15 miles or so south of the lake) .  The cobbles didn’t come from the canal, they came from the Lake Ontario shoreline or were gathered from the fields.  This one looks like red lake-washed stone with a cut fieldstone basement.

Just like they did it in the old days. . .

A sure sign that harvest is over:

It will be our little secret!

SHHHH!  Let’s just keep this our little secret. . . the worst thing that could happen is some lawyer tired of the commute from Canandaguia or Pittsford discovers this beautiful place and decides to invest in  a bunch of expensive homes  out here . . .ewwww!!!  So long as there’s no Trader Joe’s or Wegman’s, though, I think we’re safe. . .

About: Palmyra

Ewww, but you don’t necessarily have to live in a trailer to be trailer trash (see pretty red law office, right)

Founded in 1790, Palmyra is quite proud of its 4-corner churches and some kind of spire with a flag on top.  It also has some pretty nasty trailers and at least one nasty lawyer.

Lawyers. . . they're like nuclear fission, they can be used for good or evil.  (And you don't want to get any on you, either!)

Lawyers. . . they’re like nuclear fission, they can be used for good or evil. (And you don’t want to get any on you, either!) Courtesy Google Images, Accessed 10-12-12

Go, Palmyra!  Show us how ‘duh’ is really done!

Not sure what it’s for but it’s right there smack in the middle of town. With a flag on top.  Until maybe that storm comes up and blows it all down. . .Courtesy Google Images, Accessed 10-12-12